STORY OF MY LIFE.
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RENUKA
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<pocketful of sunshine.mp3 - Natasha bedingfield
Tuesday, January 02, 2007, 7:48 pm
THE FREAKING DASHBOARD TOOK FOREVER TOO LOAD!!Woke up like around 11.30 am due to vibration of my phone. My dad was calling me. I felt so lazy to pick the phone and deal with the whole father-daughter thingy. I mean I really appreciate him for cheering me up yesterday when my mother and I had an heated arguement. Well, nobody understands me better than my father. He can see through me without exchanging any words. My mother? Oh she thinks that by giving me an education and slogging so hard to give me the best in life is her way being the best mum. BUT NO MOM! ALL I REALLY WANT IS FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND ME!! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT ALL I EVER WANT IS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU. TO GO OUT WITH YOU. I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE GOT TO SAY ABOUT MY LIFE,MY FUTURE. But no. When I do, you always doze off. Do you have any idea how hurting that is? That i try so hard to to make you happy and not make you feel the pain of being alone. But in the end it all goes unnoticed and my efforts all go down the drain.
Do you know how freaking difficult it was for me to lead the past 10 years of my life? Firstly, my pillar of strength, my dad was not with me. My dearest uncle died in an accident. My cousins are either not of my age group or condemned cases. And you never let me get too close with my friends because you were afraid I would be influenced by them just like my Dad. All these years, I was ALONE! I was so sick of it. We rarely spoke. Not even a I LOVE YOU. I always control my tears when I saw a 'happy family' walk by. I hated it when your side of the family criticised Dad and I had to listen and say nothing about it. So what if he was always in and out of jail? Atleast he was there for me. Atleast he understood me. Atleast he was the best dad.
I am not asking for much mum. I just want you to understand me. Its not just about the money, education and comfort you are giving. Its not mum. I LOVE YOU MUM. As much as I have told you to die, I really want you to be there with me forever.
Okay enough of side tracking. In the afternoon, went to kovan and got all the last minute stuff for my India trip. Stuff like lip balm, shampoo and conditioner (specially for me), facial wash and etc. Came back home and was so freaking tired so settled down on my chair and watched white chicks. Again. Just love the Wayan brothers man!
Anyways, I will be leaving for India tom. Don't miss me too much people. =) KIDDING.
I am so going to miss my computer, room and my dearies!! Will be back on the 31st! LOVE YA GUYS!!
THE END.