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RENUKA
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<pocketful of sunshine.mp3 - Natasha bedingfield
Friday, February 23, 2007, 1:20 am
I'm in love and that is freaking me out big time.
I'm listening to 'munbe vaa' as I type this post. Haha. How lovey-dovey can I get. I can't believe the fact that I, Miss Renuka D/O Selvaraj am in love. I mean I have been in relationships before. But in none of them have I actually been in love. Maybe just a huge LIKING but nothing more than that. And now, it feels kind of scary to be in love. I just can't recongnise this girl I am now. Who is so in love. Who is smiling all day for nothing. Who is always in the dreamy mood. Who is thinking about him constantly. Just who is this girl? Its like I really love him alot. And I keep bugging Kartik and Gaya about it. Kartik told me to let him know that I love him so much. But I just feel so weird. I have never done so. I'm just not used to coming out of my huge EGO layer surrounding me and expressing myself. Okay maybe Kartik is an exception. But romantically I just can't. I really can't. I can only just bottle up all the feelings in my heart and just smile when I see him. Maybe its because its my first time. I just hope that I will be able to express it to him one day. Not now. Don't want to bother him while he is studying for his exams. One day, I shall just tear down the huge EGO layer surrounding me and express myself. But I'm just afraid that I would be let down. I mean I have never been cheated on before and I dont want this to be my first time. I really love him. I just want this to be my first and last relationship. Maybe its too early to tell. Maybe its not. I dont know. But right now waiting just seems like the best option. I'll just wait for the right time to come and I'll express my feelings. Yes I will. I HOPE.
Tata.