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<pocketful of sunshine.mp3 - Natasha bedingfield
Saturday, November 24, 2007, 3:45 pm
Life is so unpredictable
I don't really know where to start or begin but I have got lots to say. Okay maybe like you said yes. I NEED to GROW UP. I NEED to stop acting like a fool. I NEED to STOP DEPENDING on you. I should have known it all when you were so insistent on me being dependent on you. How exactly am I suppose to grow up when you want me to be dependent on you? When you say that, you actually imply that you will be responsible for everything that I do, say or act. And because of that whenever something erupts between us, I am all helpless and LOST. I don't know what to do and I come running back to you. Maybe that's why you are so complacent and you are never bothered to fix things up. Well, thanks for letting me know at least now. I will grow up dear. I will live life the way I want it to be. The way how I think it should be. Because at the end of the day, nothing lasts forever let alone your words? Hah!Life's being a bitch. I lost my creative zen player. My education's screwed up. My relationship is screwed up. My computer/laptop's screwed up. My life's screwed up. I am screwed up.
LOL.
During times like this, I used to think I would only need you but now I guess I just need some encouragement and assuarance from my mother. I just got to learn to live like you won't exist tom. Else, I'll suffer. Is that okay with you?
I want to go back to church. I want to be strong in spritual aspects. I need you Lord. I know that when you bring me to it, you will bring me through it. I will NEVER place anyone else above you Lord. I'm sorry. Somebody just whack my ass and drag me to church please. OH please!
LEARN Renu!
ps. I'm afraid its not referring to whom you think its being referred to. So just piss off.