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RENUKA
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Sch of Life Sci: Molecular Biotechnology
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pocketful of sunshine.mp3 - Natasha bedingfield
Friday, January 15, 2010, 10:11 am
TGIF (1)

It's TGIF 1 cause there are many more TGIFs to go. Honestly, I should be doing my article on Dyslexia. I have got all the information I need but no inspiration. No inspiration = lousy article. It's TRUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. (insert the kumar accent here, i still can't get over it. lol!) Like the other time when I had to do an article on brown skin, I had all the inspiration that I needed. Besides, what could serve as a better inspiration other than myself? So in the end, the article was good and well received. I got a reader who wrote in praising my article and that letter will be published in the coming issue of LiveWell magazine! Please be proud of yours truly, okay?

I'm digressing. The point is, I have got no inspiration as yet and I need to do something that interests me first so that it would spark off some inspiration for me to start with. OMG, I just realised that I mentioned the word 'inspiration' like 4-5 times? Haha. Anyway, to gain my inspiration (yet again), I'm going to revamp my blog, so that the sense of satisfaction would in return give me some inspiration (and again).

Now, I wish to digress. I'm feeling so stressed. I want a job immediately after my attachment ends. Okay not exactly, immediately. But maybe say around April or middle of March even? I have started sending in my job applications now itself but I think employers get turned off with the fact that I need 2 months notice before I start work? Honestly, if I was the employer, I would be turned off as well. Sighhhh. And, I don't know if I would be getting a good work testimonial. Everything is good at my company but I did mention hiccups as well, didn't I? So, for that I'm afraid. Since, I'm in a Life Sci course and would like to switch to a business-related job, a good work testimonial would do me good. So, I'm going to pray with my fingers crossed, that all will go well!

Other than that, I'm off to revamp. Hopefully it would be done sucessfully. Otherwise, atleast you know you can associate me with the lack of self-discipline.




Thursday, January 14, 2010, 12:17 am
A fresh year, a fresh start

My blog title pretty much summarises my entire blog entry. Hello, 2010. And, hello ASHOK! :)
Okay so, I'm committed to someone right now. Its been about year now and I'm finally able to put the past behind me and accept the future challenges ahead. Along with someone who is willing to lend me his shoulder, arm, leg, toes, whatever. The point is, I'm gona face 2010 and the following years ahead with someone who is willing participate in my tears and joy.

To Ashok Kummar:

I have been a bitch. I know it. So don't deny. I will still be a bitch. I can't help it. I may have gotten over the past but I'm still not done convincing myself that NOT all guys are FUCKING bastards. But I know that with your determination and love, I will be able to. From someone who had nothing to say except for vulgarities and hurtful words with a pinch of sarcasm, you have made me utter those beautiful three words. I know that I hurt you with my words, I know I make you feel like a low-life creature at times. But truth is, I try to beat you to hurting me because I'm always convinced that I'm bound to get hurt some day. I'm not shy or ashamed to admit that I'm afraid to give you the upper hand in this relationship. I constantly make you feel like I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU. That YOU ARE NOT MY OXYGEN, WATER OR FOOD and so I can live without you. In that way, I have got the upper hand. That is once again because I'm in fear of getting my heart broken again. Though you don't say it, I know you are indirectly trying to prove your sincerity through your heart-melting deeds. Deeds such as, waiting for me for hours and HOURS, putting up with my non-stop hurtful words and vulgarities, taking a diploma despite NS just to meet my expectations when you have the liberty to actually do it after your ns, driving down to my place after almost 17 hours of work just because I was having a slight fever, taking the trouble to buy the ingredients early in the morning of your off day just so that you could cook for me, telling your family about just so that i would gain a little trust on you and many others. But sometimes, I find myself ignoring all these things that you do for me because some where in the sub-conscious part of my mind, I'm convinced that you will break my heart in the future and that these things are just the part of the foreplay. I know I have not been easy to be with and that I can be a pain in the ass and sometimes, heart. But I am sure that with sufficient time, together with your love and concern I will be able to get out of the 'world' that I am currently stuck in. Thank you for your patience, love, care, concern and confidence all these while and for the years to come. I love you, ashok kummar. I don't know if I'm saying this too soon but I hope to be saying this forever and sometime along the way, I hope to be saying the words "I do", confidently.

Sorry for the sidetracking. Life's been pretty much the same. Time flies, my previous post was somewhere along the line about my first article and now I'm already on the way to finishing my attachment! I end my attachment in feb 28! To date, I have had 6 articles published, with my name! It may be nothing to some but to me, it is an amazing experience. Who would have thought that taking up a Life Sciences course would have landed me with a job as an editorial intern with a healthcare magazine! Like I always say, Cool or what! I should say that my writing skills have improved tremendously. From much editing in my first two articles, I have reached a stage where little editing or close to none is needed.

In terms of FYP, I have got a presentation and AES due in early Feb. I am praying and hoping with my fingers crossed that I will be able to obtain an A for my FYP! So far, my supervisor or boss at PING healthcare has been very accomodating and helpful. Not only her, in fact all my colleagues have been very accomodating and nice with a capital N. They have not failed to make me feel like I'm one of them. Though, I have made mistakes on many occasions, they have handled me with only patience except for one or two hiccups here and there. Nevertheless, the good sure with no doubt, overpower the bad. I need to find a way to sincerely thank them before I leave PING healthcare. Ideas, anyone?

Other than that, I can't think of anything else. I feel that I have pretty much blogged about everything or rather the major happenings. Its ponggal today and so to my silent and not so silent readers, HAPPY PONGGAL!!

till the next entry!

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Thursday, October 01, 2009, 12:04 pm
Attachment lacks the zest already

I'm offically bored to death at my work, hence I'm updating the blog. But hey, I'm not going to complain. My work is AWESOME! The people working here are AWESOME! The job is AWESOME! My supervisor is AWESOME to the power of infinity! It is just that sometimes I rush to finish all the work and then I'm left with nothing to do except to rot online. Maybe next time, I should slow down my speed. Maybe take like 20 toilet breaks like I'm a human liquid dispenser, make frequent visits to the pantry and prepare my 3-in-1 coffee so slowly like its not idiot proof already and pretend to answer phone calls as an excuse to go outside and hope that the clock would have skipped 30 minutes by then. Maybe then, I won't be so bored. RIGHTTTTTTTTTTT.

Okay so, GUESS WHAT. Two articles that I wrote are going to be published in a healthcare magazine called LiveWell Baby. I can't wait for it to be out. Never ever thought in my wildest dreams that my work would ever get published. COOLNESSSSSS.

Deepavalli is around the corner and the cleaning is going to start soon! OH NOOOOOOOOOOO. The one part that I hate about deepavalli is cleaning! ARGH. And this year it has to be extra clean cause I'm going to have an open house. Sighhhh.

Lil India expo has so many nice punjabis at $15 bucks ONLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I think I'm gona get like 10, or maybe 5. Don't know leh. Like so cheap only.

Okay I'm random and I'm off.




Thursday, August 27, 2009, 12:06 am
My internet explorer's being a bitch

That right. I upgraded my IE and it has been failing on me ever since and I can't access PDF documents online, can't access my blog and etc. Right now thanks to Safari, I am able to blog! God bless Apple!

So the exams are going on right now and I'm done with my third paper. 2 more left to go. Hopefully, I'll be able to do well for my final semester and set off on a happy note for my attachment. Talking of that, I am attached to PING healthcare which is a medical magazine company. My job scope includes helping the editor with research, assisting in office duties and medical conference onsite and preparation work. COOL OR WHAT SIA. Thank goodness, I am not stuck with working with the cells and waiting for them to communicate back with me. The best part is the company is near my home and I only got to report at 10am. COOLNESS. And I'm PAID! :D

I can't wait for the exams to be over. I will be left with 10 days of holidays and I will be clubbing on two of those nights. Totally looking forward to that!

Its really amusing how people say something for a moment and don't mean it the next. As of now, you are out of my life so that's really good. Let's keep that way, shall we aye? I was right about your bullshit and am thankful for not getting involved with it. Good luck with your life which you managed to get in the end. And no, this not for my ex boyfriend.

And talking about him, the rumors seem to have died down. I guess he is finally getting his senses. But nonetheless, I am just going to forgive you. I watched a movie the other day on how badly this girl suffered a breakup and till the end she could not bring herself to forgive him. And she realized that until she does forgive him, she will never be able to get over the past and enjoy genuine happiness or love that a guy was whole-heartedly giving. So in the end she decided to vent all her frustration on her ex and then forgive him. And guess what, she managed to enjoy genuine love and happiness after that! When you hate a person with all your might, you are just giving them the satisfaction of the job they had done. You are being the weak one here and the person's being the strong one. So instead, forgive them. There is no greater punishment than forgiving a person. And so, I truly forgive you. Let's let karma do job, shall we? One fine day, you will realize it. And finally, I am feeling true joy. It works, really.

Oh and I watched orphan with TM the other at AMK hub. It is an awesome movie man. Went to watched the movie after it was highly recommended on Nithya's blog. It has a real good storyline. Definitely, worth the 6 bucks! Thanks to NEBO card. HAHA.

Till the next entry!




Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 8:05 pm
ONCE AGAIN, MR. SHELTER

Okay, I'm doubting your serious incapability to read or understand or both even. After all, you are the guy who needed help in all the modules that were associated with the English language and the guy who thought promiscuous was someone who makes alot of promises.

So just for your benefit, in laymen's term, SHUT the damn gap. Cause it is sickening when people ask me why I have a pussy mouth for an ex. And I can' find a good reason to save my face. Damn it. I have got every conversation saved in my computer so bitching around isn't going to score you much sympathy points. Why act all macho on the outside when its such a wussy behind that small frame of a body. Go around and do your thang like you said, "that you are never going to be serious with any girl but rather sleep around with those that are to come." Do whatever you want, but leave my name out of your pussy mouth.

I hope you got it, Mr Shelter.

ps. this time i hope that you get into a merciless accident and become horribly disfigured which would save me the pain of ever recognizing ur face and that the only place that would be able to give mr shelter, shelter would be the SPCA but they too can't cause your face would scare the poor animals away.

AMEN. AMEN.




Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 11:04 pm

fucking irritating people. i wonder how it concerns them on what i write on my blog. as long, i get it out of my system and hopefully to the intended person, its good enough. not for others to judge and start thinking that i like him and that is why i'm blogging like that. hell, who blogs like this when they like a person?! URGH.

i freaking don't like him anymore please. i must be insane to do so.




8:00 pm
MR. SHELTER

Boy, boy, boy or should I say girl? Since gossiping isn't exactly a guy's thing or atleast not till your extent! Leave the gossiping to us girls man, we can do a BETTER job! Boy, you are so BITCHY! Going around and saying untrue stuff. I thought this happens in primary/secondary level but you have clearly proved me wrong. You denied the first time, alright. Now quite a few people have told me, so it can't be that they are lying right? Or else, its just your bad luck cause they say it came from your MOUTH.

Let me make this damn clear, we broke up cause I ASKED for the break. Later on, I realised that made a mistake and asked for a patch which you rejected saying you had to study and all the dung. So fine, I continued liking you. But I was SINGLE for two months and I did what I did (which was to KISS and nothing else, another guy) while I was DRUNK. C'mon people, when can you kiss a person and say its not wrong? Obviously when you are single right. Besides, I was DRUNK. Its okay, if you didn't believe my love anymore cause of the mistake and you had every right to do so. But why TWIST the story and say that we broke cause I kissed another guy? You can show your skills in tamil movies or something, not here. I NEVER did any shit while I was with you. Please don't include stuff like chatting with my ex (who was totally harmless but you thought was cause of insecurities, hell you didn't even trust my girlfriends), talking to a girlfriend or should I say girlfriends you didnt like. Its so LAME.

And then you say, I don't behave like a girl. Okay, the irony is this. How can you be saying this when you are behaving the exact OPPOSITE OF HOW A MAN SHOULD BE? Amusing. Look, for the shit you put me through, despite the countless advices my friends gave me to leave you then and there, I still tolerated it all. And one fine day, when I couldn't take it and blew up, you think I don't behave like a girl? Well, not like you gave me avenues to vent my frustration. Telling my girls was strictly banned. So at the rate I was going, if I didn't vent on you, I would have gone mad. Even my ex whom I showed my 100% anger to didn't bitch about it to anyone. So what have you got say, you weren't man enough to tolerate me? Then you got bitchy and said that I should tolerate whatever you do cause I'm a girl. Boy, its NOT a girl you need then. You need a BITCH, a female dog I mean. Which I sincerely hope you have found. Else, my sympathies for the next one.

You and I know the fair amount of shit we went through. So stop COOKING up stories la. Behave your age. As of now, I admit that I was hopelessly stupid to have wanted to get back with you. I hope you suffer in a merciless accident and your face becomes so disfigured that i wouldn't have the pain of recognizing you anywhere.

AMEN.

ps. Since you said I'm so hot-tempered and don't behave like a girl I thought why not. It doesn't make a difference anyway, especially to you.




Saturday, July 11, 2009, 12:23 am

ignornace is bliss. so if i dont reply, get the hint and kindly fuck off.
you people are so full of shit and you can feed urself with it cause i ain't buying it.


if it pricks, then really fuck off. im nice, if you are. simple right. so why play bitchy?
fucktards.

ps. if you're loved and wanted, trust me. i'll take the initiative. get the cue if its otherwise.