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Thursday, January 14, 2010, 12:17 am
A fresh year, a fresh start
My blog title pretty much summarises my entire blog entry. Hello, 2010. And, hello ASHOK! :)Okay so, I'm committed to someone right now. Its been about year now and I'm finally able to put the past behind me and accept the future challenges ahead. Along with someone who is willing to lend me his shoulder, arm, leg, toes, whatever. The point is, I'm gona face 2010 and the following years ahead with someone who is willing participate in my tears and joy.
To Ashok Kummar:
I have been a bitch. I know it. So don't deny. I will still be a bitch. I can't help it. I may have gotten over the past but I'm still not done convincing myself that NOT all guys are FUCKING bastards. But I know that with your determination and love, I will be able to. From someone who had nothing to say except for vulgarities and hurtful words with a pinch of sarcasm, you have made me utter those beautiful three words. I know that I hurt you with my words, I know I make you feel like a low-life creature at times. But truth is, I try to beat you to hurting me because I'm always convinced that I'm bound to get hurt some day. I'm not shy or ashamed to admit that I'm afraid to give you the upper hand in this relationship. I constantly make you feel like I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU. That YOU ARE NOT MY OXYGEN, WATER OR FOOD and so I can live without you. In that way, I have got the upper hand. That is once again because I'm in fear of getting my heart broken again. Though you don't say it, I know you are indirectly trying to prove your sincerity through your heart-melting deeds. Deeds such as, waiting for me for hours and HOURS, putting up with my non-stop hurtful words and vulgarities, taking a diploma despite NS just to meet my expectations when you have the liberty to actually do it after your ns, driving down to my place after almost 17 hours of work just because I was having a slight fever, taking the trouble to buy the ingredients early in the morning of your off day just so that you could cook for me, telling your family about just so that i would gain a little trust on you and many others. But sometimes, I find myself ignoring all these things that you do for me because some where in the sub-conscious part of my mind, I'm convinced that you will break my heart in the future and that these things are just the part of the foreplay. I know I have not been easy to be with and that I can be a pain in the ass and sometimes, heart. But I am sure that with sufficient time, together with your love and concern I will be able to get out of the 'world' that I am currently stuck in. Thank you for your patience, love, care, concern and confidence all these while and for the years to come. I love you, ashok kummar. I don't know if I'm saying this too soon but I hope to be saying this forever and sometime along the way, I hope to be saying the words "I do", confidently.
Sorry for the sidetracking. Life's been pretty much the same. Time flies, my previous post was somewhere along the line about my first article and now I'm already on the way to finishing my attachment! I end my attachment in feb 28! To date, I have had 6 articles published, with my name! It may be nothing to some but to me, it is an amazing experience. Who would have thought that taking up a Life Sciences course would have landed me with a job as an editorial intern with a healthcare magazine! Like I always say, Cool or what! I should say that my writing skills have improved tremendously. From much editing in my first two articles, I have reached a stage where little editing or close to none is needed.
In terms of FYP, I have got a presentation and AES due in early Feb. I am praying and hoping with my fingers crossed that I will be able to obtain an A for my FYP! So far, my supervisor or boss at PING healthcare has been very accomodating and helpful. Not only her, in fact all my colleagues have been very accomodating and nice with a capital N. They have not failed to make me feel like I'm one of them. Though, I have made mistakes on many occasions, they have handled me with only patience except for one or two hiccups here and there. Nevertheless, the good sure with no doubt, overpower the bad. I need to find a way to sincerely thank them before I leave PING healthcare. Ideas, anyone?
Other than that, I can't think of anything else. I feel that I have pretty much blogged about everything or rather the major happenings. Its ponggal today and so to my silent and not so silent readers, HAPPY PONGGAL!!
till the next entry!
Labels: 2010, attachment, bf, relationships
Wednesday, December 24, 2008, 11:04 pm
One of the best days ever
Well, well what can I say? I couldn't ask for more. After yet another terrible quarrel yesterday, the night after that and today turned out just too pleasant. Everything went just as beautiful as I wished it to be. He met me only at 3.45 pm today, but I was still touched despite him coming late. Reason being, he still came even though he was tired, even though it was raining and even though he had to take the bus instead of his bike since it was raining.Spent some time at my place watching part of Vallavan and then made our way to Comfort Driving Center, only to find it closed. So then I decided to send him home and take a bus back home from his place. We took bus 87 and while chatting, he suddenly popped up the idea of spending some time at Compass Point before he head back home. Again, another sweet gesture cause he has to be back home early for some reason and when he could have simply went home to get some rest, he thought of spending that time with me. But at the end of the day, we spent the evening at a pasar malam near his house cause me being me just can't resist pasar malams!
I loved the way he made me duck my head into his jacket so that i wouldn't get wet, the way he held my hand and the way he hugged me and walked. I can never ask for more. It seemed like the best ever. Like how it was at the start of our relationship. All the more makes this year's Christmas a blissful one! Hence,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
This the first photo of us that I have posted on the blog, i think.
Labels: bf
Thursday, November 13, 2008, 12:31 am
Rollercoaster ride
Phew! Like after what seemed like a gazillion years I am finally able to see my posts up on this fucking blog! I'm guessing that there was something wrong with my template hence, the posts could not be published. And the clever me forgot to save the tagboard codes so now I have got to find a new one. YEAY, me!Life has been going pretty good. My memory's getting from bad to worse. I'm missing datelines and birthday and the former being the more important one. Okay, I just realised that my first sentence and my second sentence contradicts each other! hahaha. Oh well...
The relationship's going OKAY with lotsa fights going on. I feel like evrythings different now and he thinks otherwise. We are people of different view. Like totally opp poles. Hence, the arguements. I just hope it gets well!
I should really be doing my report on the traits drosaphila flies right now but I'm procastinating it.
Night world.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008, 10:33 pm
And I hate that I love you so..
Okay so it is kind of obvious from my nick that I'm in a mushy mood. But honestly, I'm not and I couldnt think of any other title for my post. LOL. So throughout the holidays, I have been idling my time away. That's right, for a precious 1 month plus of my life. Most jobs either require billingual or 21 and above or its either not my type. Okay, I'm a little (maybe more) fussy. Hence, that is leaving me jobless and partially broke for now. So anybody wana treat meeeeeeeeeee? :D You will be loved for the rest of my life!The holidays were pretty much spent on the boyfriend. I LOVED it! We fight alot but those fights pretty much brought us closer, I should say. Fortunately for me, I feel so comfortable with him. Like we can talk about anything under the sun! Bitch, drama, sing, crap, fight and what have you! I LOVE YOU BOYFRIEND. YOU ARE AN ASS AT TIMES BUT STILL THE BEST OF THE BEST.
So recently kartik krish messaged me to update me on his life and I was like wtf? You go MIA and never bother to check up on me and then you come back one fine day just to update me on how you are? Is that your definition of best friend? FUCK YOU. Seriously, I dont need your friendship. Even my casual friends enquire about me alot more than you. You were busy? Like for more than a month and you never had time for me? Who are ya kidding? And to think that the first person I thought of calling when I was down was you. Urgh. Makes me sick to my gut.
So that would mean the second good riddance for the year. Good bye and I wish you all the best.
Chapter CLOSED.
School's starting in about a week plus's time and I'm actually eager to start. No, I'm not a loser but rather I have been toooooo free at home (okay, close to a loser but still not one!).
So I'm off then!
Monday, March 31, 2008, 8:43 pm
How boring...
I'm so frigging tired and sleepy but I have got to stay awake cause I'm expecting some guests. Work is so boring and is becoming more like a chore. Sure, the people there are a great company but if not for them I could seriously die from boredom. Like there was twice when I posted at terminal 1's landside skytrain station and terminal 2's landside skytrain station. RAHHHHH! So fuuuuuuuucking boring can?! Its like there is barely anyone who comes up to you and asks for assistance. On the other hand, transit's fun though. I had to work 3 hours over-time today cause Mansfield called me yesterday at 12.30 am begging me to come down so I made my way there at 9am. I was deployed at 'A' pier at terminal 3's transit and I got to know some people from the 1st shift and they are really a fun bunch! Especially the part when Sha and I and this other malay guy were disturbing Ansari in Macs.Then later at 12pm was deployed at terminal 1's transit with fiqah and we were like totally so lethargic and kept walking around aimlessly. Today is the last day for some them and they were snapping pictures away. I got to obtain some pictures from Ansari. I guess I too will be missing it when I end my contract in April 12. :(
I miss you so much! We rarely get to see each other and now when we do I feel that we have grown up. No, seriously. Less arguements and more affection. I like it this way. :)