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Sch of Life Sci: Molecular Biotechnology
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pocketful of sunshine.mp3 - Natasha bedingfield
Thursday, January 14, 2010, 12:17 am
A fresh year, a fresh start

My blog title pretty much summarises my entire blog entry. Hello, 2010. And, hello ASHOK! :)
Okay so, I'm committed to someone right now. Its been about year now and I'm finally able to put the past behind me and accept the future challenges ahead. Along with someone who is willing to lend me his shoulder, arm, leg, toes, whatever. The point is, I'm gona face 2010 and the following years ahead with someone who is willing participate in my tears and joy.

To Ashok Kummar:

I have been a bitch. I know it. So don't deny. I will still be a bitch. I can't help it. I may have gotten over the past but I'm still not done convincing myself that NOT all guys are FUCKING bastards. But I know that with your determination and love, I will be able to. From someone who had nothing to say except for vulgarities and hurtful words with a pinch of sarcasm, you have made me utter those beautiful three words. I know that I hurt you with my words, I know I make you feel like a low-life creature at times. But truth is, I try to beat you to hurting me because I'm always convinced that I'm bound to get hurt some day. I'm not shy or ashamed to admit that I'm afraid to give you the upper hand in this relationship. I constantly make you feel like I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU. That YOU ARE NOT MY OXYGEN, WATER OR FOOD and so I can live without you. In that way, I have got the upper hand. That is once again because I'm in fear of getting my heart broken again. Though you don't say it, I know you are indirectly trying to prove your sincerity through your heart-melting deeds. Deeds such as, waiting for me for hours and HOURS, putting up with my non-stop hurtful words and vulgarities, taking a diploma despite NS just to meet my expectations when you have the liberty to actually do it after your ns, driving down to my place after almost 17 hours of work just because I was having a slight fever, taking the trouble to buy the ingredients early in the morning of your off day just so that you could cook for me, telling your family about just so that i would gain a little trust on you and many others. But sometimes, I find myself ignoring all these things that you do for me because some where in the sub-conscious part of my mind, I'm convinced that you will break my heart in the future and that these things are just the part of the foreplay. I know I have not been easy to be with and that I can be a pain in the ass and sometimes, heart. But I am sure that with sufficient time, together with your love and concern I will be able to get out of the 'world' that I am currently stuck in. Thank you for your patience, love, care, concern and confidence all these while and for the years to come. I love you, ashok kummar. I don't know if I'm saying this too soon but I hope to be saying this forever and sometime along the way, I hope to be saying the words "I do", confidently.

Sorry for the sidetracking. Life's been pretty much the same. Time flies, my previous post was somewhere along the line about my first article and now I'm already on the way to finishing my attachment! I end my attachment in feb 28! To date, I have had 6 articles published, with my name! It may be nothing to some but to me, it is an amazing experience. Who would have thought that taking up a Life Sciences course would have landed me with a job as an editorial intern with a healthcare magazine! Like I always say, Cool or what! I should say that my writing skills have improved tremendously. From much editing in my first two articles, I have reached a stage where little editing or close to none is needed.

In terms of FYP, I have got a presentation and AES due in early Feb. I am praying and hoping with my fingers crossed that I will be able to obtain an A for my FYP! So far, my supervisor or boss at PING healthcare has been very accomodating and helpful. Not only her, in fact all my colleagues have been very accomodating and nice with a capital N. They have not failed to make me feel like I'm one of them. Though, I have made mistakes on many occasions, they have handled me with only patience except for one or two hiccups here and there. Nevertheless, the good sure with no doubt, overpower the bad. I need to find a way to sincerely thank them before I leave PING healthcare. Ideas, anyone?

Other than that, I can't think of anything else. I feel that I have pretty much blogged about everything or rather the major happenings. Its ponggal today and so to my silent and not so silent readers, HAPPY PONGGAL!!

till the next entry!

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